Anxiety is keeping me awake.

This has been a stressful month for me. Two weeks ago thursday, I turned 36 years old. I am unemployed and my unemployment benefits run out in November sometime. And there is no job prospects in sight. My mental state has been bad to say the least. Suicide has even crossed my mind a couple of times. I don't want to die though. I want to live. I want to have a life. I want to get a job that will pay enough that I can pay my bills and save some money so maybe this time next year I can move to a city. This town has been nothing but shit for me. I moved here to save my marriage. Did it work? No. I have been separated from my husband for about 3 years now. Sometimes it feels like longer and sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I have these weak moments where I think that I should go back to him. I know he would have me. But we didn't do well together. We were both miserable for almost the entirety of our marriage and going back to that wouldn't be living. I have to find a way to make some money right now. I wish I could figure out how to work from home. I think that would be best for me at this moment. I have been without a job for a year and a half and in that time have become a hermit. My social skills have deteriorated at an alarming rate. I was never the social to begin with, but now I can hardly make eye contact. Second Life isnt fun for me anymore either. It just feels like a time suck and a boring one at that. All i do when I go into SL is dj and stand around doing mostly nothing. Even making poses has lost it's appeal. I think that that part is because there are so many pose makers right now and the popular pose places are owned by the popular people in SL. I guess basically what I am saying is that I don't know what to do. I am scared shitless. In a few weeks I might be without funds and I can't pay rent or my car payment. I only owe like 1000$ left on my car and it might as well be a million dollars. I need help. I have no idea how or where to get it. I need a fucking job.