Whatevs.

It has been a really shitty few days. My mom has been broken down from stress and on medication that doesn’t seem to be helping any. Then she was fired Monday. It’s stressful for both of us because now I am the only one with a job and I don’t make enough money to support us both. Hopefully, she will get unemployment and find another job quick.

I started smoking again. It’s been about a month now. Today I can feel it. I don’t know what I think I am doing. It doesn’t help anything and it fucking stinks. I can’t seem to help myself though. It’s weirdly comforting.

I’m doing this school stuff and I wonder what I was thinking. I don’t feel like I am ever going to get to a point where I can get out of customer service. I don’t feel like I am learning a whole lot either. The class that has taught me the most so far was perspective. And I still can’t draw for shit, but I can make a box that is in perspective. Go me.

I have a full tank of gas and most of a pack of cigarettes and 33$. I wonder how far that would get me. Probably not very far. I couldn’t do that to my mom anyway. I told her I would stick around for a while. I love her, but I would really love to be by myself for a while.

I have listened to the song Remember by Skold so many times in the last couple days that it is firmly wedged in my head. It’s such a good song though. That whole album is really. This line…”I’m tired and I can’t remember…” so stuck in my head.